Slam Drama

1.

 

seems

I have lived in dumpsters

with you

while

other peoples shit

rolled off our backs like

water

for the living

not past

our prime

yet

 

2.

 

all day long

then

we sang our songs

of the living death

laughing tears,

banishing one another

to the darkness

of each others

soul

 

3.

 

after

I tasted

sour mash

whiskey

that reminded me of the taste

of your kiss

that happened

once to me

while I was

slashing my writes

because of something

you said.

 

4.

 

after you admitted

to the lie

that I lived for

after I died for

you

as the moon collided

with the sun

coming back for me

not

again

I am still

dead.

 

5.

 

after

you sang a song

to me

from

the ancient

tome of the demon.

demon songs

repeat endlessly

reminding me

of our

sacrifice.

 

6.

 

after we danced

dance

danced

and are still dancing

around

the subject

the camillas

trampled underfoot

still betray the meaning.

You speak of communion and catharthis

like you know what they mean.

Practicing religion like a madman

does not make you pure.

Only women bleed.

 

7.

 

after the war zone

was rezoned for the living

you denied that time

was the master

of destiny.

I cried

for them

~the unknowing~

still trapped

in your magic

dance.

 

8.

 

after

I again bring to you

my confession

I will lie

I will lie

and you won't know

because you have already

relinquished the right

to see that my pain

is

not pain

I laugh

in your face

because I

and only I

chose to embrace you

in all your filth

and derision.

 

9.

 

after I lost

friends

lost you

near the highway

that you told me

to avoid

I crawl

along the pavement

searching for the wasted

days and wasted nights

that held the answers to the questions

that you avoided

and made me find my own answers.

Some of them correct

some of them undeniably

Wrong.

Wrong.

 

10.

 

after I listened to the music

that you suggested

I found that you only knew

half the story

I found my own way

in my own music

Sia

Beth

taught me

strength

not to be confused with force

like you "forced" me to be alone

alone with you

alone with myself

dancing with myself

with you

me

I am

You are

Me.

 

11.

 

after

I forgive you

I said I did

I forgave you

but I only half meant it.

Your duplicity

Your obsession with the anti-christ

trying to fool me

by wearing his clothes

but I knew

I knew

I had seen him before

and he was not you.

The priest told me

told me

and told me again

that I should trust the Magus.

The magic man

that had deciphered

the clues and codes

but was hiding them from me.

Yes, the priest told me all that.

So I knew.

 

12.

 

after you looked into my eyes

and yelled

you denied

that you saw God.

but you know.

 

13.

 

after

all this time

I say I don't love you anymore

but I do.

I can't help it

It is my curse.

oh jesus

you hang so near

and yet so far away

it is my curse.

 

14.

 

after

I lie to you

do you believe

I still

love you.

 

15.

 

after

we decipher

this missive

of grand design

that the daughters of Zion

forced upon us

because they knew

they knew

who we are.

we will then be whole

together

or apart

no matter.

 

16.

 

after superstrings

and quantum foam

tie us up and lubricate us

burning our retinas

so that maybe

we will not have to look

not have to see

the damage that we have already done

volcanoes

earthquakes

oil spills

the list goes on.

to ~the creator~

I realized you were unaware

of my presence

of my devotion/adoration

of my disappointment

of my predicament.

Two worlds collided

for an instant

that morphed

into a lifetime.

 

17.

 

after

I sing with my friends

my few perfect friends

the nouvelle vague

I dance with my friends

in the morning

hearing and seeing a new world

before our eyes

that reflects the perfect vision

broken

busted

bottled

our lips denied the drink.

 

18.

 

after we/I have gathered

the ten thousand

of the chosen

who know

who feel

the burn

the sting

of the perfect love

the path of the visionary

will open

and you will have to

stand back

and let us pass

over you

into your eyes

your lips

your soul.

 

19.

 

after

We resurrect your love

you will appreciate

the open window

the breeze

gathering your hair

up into the ascension,

the rapture ringing

from every bell tower.

my story

will be complete.

 

20.

 

after I am/we are recognized

as

the bride of christ

sacred yes scared

and scarred.

bent

broken

bottled

my blood for sale

on the open market

only then will you admit

that you gazed into

my eyes

and gave me life.

 

21.

 

After I spun you around

down

down...

falling  slowly

free falling

I found the capsule

you left behind

you  left behind

a legacy

for the free world

and the words said

"Remain  in the tube."

In a roundabout way the game commences

The  checkmate of the ages is at hand

The ages of sunlight

The ages of  moonshine

Are alight

Are all right

In this king’s queen.

Running  faster every day

Unlocking open doors

Stacking the cards

Hiding  the evidence.

I'm alive again.

 

© Donna Surles 06.11.10

 

My Words

More Words

The God Grid

Every blank sheet of paper contains it.
Every random thought you have contains it.
A master architect at work to design
ways to fill the empty space between us.
I have counted the proposals.
I have checked the sound levels.
I have adjusted the light.
And I have finally fitted the last piece of the puzzle.

Building time in space is no longer a dream.
I have made it a reality.
You dreamed my dream for me
And now my dream is real.

I didn't need a thing from you
Maybe that's what you loved about me.
You held me softly in your arms
As you sing to me a new song now.

Sound check - stand back.

VIEW ~ Woman's Power of Persuasion

It  is the year 2996 and fasure, we still worship Her, but I have just  today found evidence in the computer stock that She did not work alone!   This morning when we all went down I thought that when we regained  sub-consciousness that All would Still be the Same.  How wrong I can be.   When Light came on again, my thoughts were fuzzy.  Memory was gone;  Future was forgotten and Past was fragile.  There were only seven  programs left on my belly.  I had never seen any of these programs  before, fasure, so they were not My memories.  I pressed the button on  My forehead and the hard copies that appeared in My clenched fist were  foreign to Me, but I knew that they must hold secrets that were precious  gifts to My people.  I must comprehend and decipher these messages from  Her.  This is what they say: It has been said  that War is not a necessary part of the human condition.  For 2000 years  much of humanity has lived in male-dominated societies where the  warrior mentality has dominated and destroyed what was left of the  Goddess cultures.  There is hope, though.  The world is moving towards a  new understanding of the forces that shape and guide humans, and much  more accepted is the fact that it is desirable for females to possess  the invulnerability of the warrior and for the male to exhibit the  wisdom of the goddess. The Athenian culture was  one of the last to combine the two concepts, but I feel that they had  already lost much of what was important to the Goddess culture.   Although they did feel the power of Athena, who had sprung from a man’s  head, they were not entirely respectful of women of their own culture.  I  feel that this was probably the beginning of the enslavement of women. The  warrior mentality, with its conflict of values, was most likely the  factor that caused the end of Athens as a civilization.  Their desire  for intellectual excellence was a mental challenge for the society, but  the absence of emotional and spiritual creativity could bring a downfall  to any community.  The warrior spirit is evident in the book of Homer,  The Oddessy.  Odysseus had the warrior mentality.  It showed in his  devotion to his quest.  The Oddessy was a part of the beginning of the  phasing out of the Goddess culture.  The actualization power combined  with the dominator power is a jigsaw puzzle that we are just now  completing. In the warrior mentality, life is a  progression, death is nothingness.  The goddess mentality believes that  life and death are parts of a cycle.  If we are to move forward, as in a  progression, we must take into account the glory gained in the battle  of ongoing regeneration, which leads back to a fuller life.  The blade,  symbolic of power and will, could not exist without the chalice, the  symbolic existence of nourishment and concern for fellow women and men I  AM the outcast.  Nothing passes by me.  It is absorbed, situated,  conditioned and re-released.  This Second Creation of personal realities  is the force that is the movement of this universe.  Universal  consciousness can no longer be restrained. My  E-motions have made me a element of the Future.  I have frozen the Past  and Fixed it into metaphor for the Future.  There is no new news.  We  are re-repeating the ancestral memories over and over again.  Yesterday  is as open to change as Tomorrow is… The Future is our road to real  identity. The real victim is me.  I have remembered the transformation  as if it happened only tomorrow. When I AM at last free from the boundaries I set for myself, only then will I realize the true dream. Donna Surles '94ish